


christmas with my dad

by cadyjanis



Series: cadnis [4]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Angst, Daddy Issues, F/F, Holidays, Homophobia, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-08-25 15:03:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16663054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadyjanis/pseuds/cadyjanis
Summary: janis knows she has a lot of repressed anger, and her dad’s reaction to what happened to her and her coming out plays a big part in that.janis isn’t sure she’d be able to contain it if she saw him again. years of punching her pillow to possibly his actual face. it would feel good, there’s no doubt. but, consequences.—janis wrestles with her emotions after her estranged father asks her to spend christmas with him.





	christmas with my dad

**Author's Note:**

> the prom + barrett wilbert weed references? it be like that sometimes
>
>> **trigger warnings:**   
>  homophobia   
>  homophobic parents   
>  daddy issues

Janis really doesn’t want to go to Indiana.

 

It’s been weighing on her for a week since her dad called. He asked her if she’d want to come visit him and his family for Christmas, and she told him she’d have to think about it.

 

Her mom doesn’t know. Janis figures they’ll all talk details if she says yes. Which she does not plan on doing, just because it’s been literal years since she saw her dad’s family, and knows it will be excruciating skirting around questions about college and boyfriends. Picturing it actually makes her queasy. She can’t do it.

 

And then there’s the fact they’re smack dab in the middle of rural Indiana and are aggressively Christian, meaning they’ll take one look at her and brandish a cross.

 

So. She really doesn’t want to go to Indiana.

 

She’s needed time to think on it by herself, so Damian and Cady don’t know yet. She’s mostly reluctant to bring it up because if she were to go, she’d miss Christmas with her friends—more importantly, her first Christmas with Cady as girlfriends.

 

They could always celebrate early, but it’s not the same, and it’d be forced and heavy with the knowledge that Janis is leaving later. And then there’s her mother, who Janis would be slightly less hesitant to abandon if she had a boyfriend to keep her company, but it’s just them.

 

Janis is biting her nail and thinking this over, once again, when Damian and Cady show up at their lunch table. Damian flops down across from her and Cady hugs Janis from behind, giving her a sweet, noisy kiss on the cheek.

 

“Mwah! I missed you,” Cady chirps, cozying up to Janis on the bench.

 

“I missed you, too,” Janis replies automatically, her brain so far away she can’t remember how long it’s been since she and Cady last saw each other.

 

Both her girlfriend and Damian pick up on the distant tone of Janis’s voice, and share a look.

 

“You okay, Jan?” Cady asks gently, trying to be casual as she pulls out her lunch.

 

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.” Janis wipes her palms on her shorts, sweaty from imagining socializing with her judgy homophobic family members.

 

“Where’s your lunch?” Damian asks around a mouthful of egg salad.

 

“I ate already,” Janis says, and it’s only partially a lie. She had half the granola bar she tossed into her backpack this morning. Not much, but she didn’t feel like eating then, either.

 

“You’re quiet today,” Cady murmurs, offering her a bite of her sandwich anyway. Janis uses it as an opportunity to stuff her face to avoid explaining herself, and Cady gives her a look. Janis smiles as she chews, feigning innocence.

 

“Oh-kay,” Cady says slowly, and scoots away to give her space.

 

“Sorry,” Janis murmurs after a long, silent minute of ignoring one another. “It’s nothing you did. I just—it’s stupid. I don’t really wanna talk about it here.”

 

“We can keep secrets,” Damian reminds her assuredly, pointedly looking in Gretchen Wieners’ direction. She’s sitting on Karen’s lap and they’re looking at something on Karen’s phone. Plot twist of the year was the last day of pride month when they posted pictures of their secret girlfriends’ vacation, simultaneously coming out and revealing they were now dating.

 

They seem pretty happy. More content than they used to be, especially now that Regina isn’t a tyrannical hellbeast anymore. They’re free to be who they are and do it together. They’ve even gone on a double date with Cady and Janis.

 

It’s weird, comparing this time last year to the present. Everybody is a different person—better, bolder, nicer. There’s no revenge plot or candy cane gram nonsense.

 

“I know you can,” Janis sighs, nudging Damian under the table with her boot. “Anyway. Either of you gonna be strutting your stuff in the talent show?” She lifts her eyebrows suggestively.

 

“Oh my God,” Cady groans, rolling her eyes, but Damian gasps delightedly. He launches into a detailed description of the performance he plans to put on, and it’s a decent distraction from Janis’s inner turmoil. Cady ends up pressed back against her side, head on Janis’s shoulder, Janis’s arm hooked around her neck. Their default position.

 

They stay like that even later when Janis is driving to Cady’s house, backpacks on the floor of her truck, her girlfriend laying with her head in Janis’s lap. Cady’s talking about Christmas and the stuff she wants to get her parents, counting things off on her fingers. Janis drives with one hand so the other can card through Cady’s hair, strangely calmed by the familiar silk.

 

Cady’s parents are working, so they have the house to themselves. They dump their bags on kitchen chairs and Cady beelines for the fridge, while Janis helps herself to the plate of fresh-baked cookies left out on the counter.

 

“Your mom’s cookies are the bomb, Caddy,” Janis compliments, and Cady cracks up. “What? I mean it. My ma would burn them, and the entire goddamn kitchen.”

 

“She’s doing her best,” Cady teases, biting into a celery stick. Janis doesn’t get her. Celery? In December? There’s cookies _right here_ and she chooses the freaking celery stick. (It _is_ a rather accurate summarization of who Cady is, though.)

 

Janis would miss her so much if she went away. She’s reminded, again, that she’d be missing out on everything, even the little things, if she spent Christmas with her dad. It’s the beginning of December and she and Cady have plans to do fun gay holiday stuff all month, they can’t put that on hold. Cady even wrote everything down in her planner, Janis watched her do it. Cady’s super into Christmas this year since she sort of wasn’t herself a year ago. Janis can’t miss that and disappoint her first-ever girlfriend.

 

It actually sucks more that she has a choice, because if she willingly went to Indiana, it would mean she chose critical elderly relatives, itchy sweaters, and generic food over Cady.

 

So, no, Janis is definitely not going to Indiana. She doesn’t understand why she can’t be okay with that, or didn’t tell her dad she wasn’t going the day he called.

 

Janis leaves her boots at the foot of the stairs, then lets Cady lead her up to her room.

 

The door shuts when Cady pushes Janis up against it, cupping her neck as she kisses her. It’ll never not take Janis by surprise—or immediately turn her on—when Cady asserts dominance; nine times out of ten she’ll wait for Janis to tell her what to do. Janis is actually glad that now is the one time she won’t have to get bossy.

 

Ultimately Cady doesn’t much care about that, because despite ending up shirtless, straddling Janis on the bed, her only goal is to get Janis riled up enough to take control. So Janis sits up, arm pinning Cady in place until she can shrug her jacket off and flip Cady over to take her spot—Cady shrieks, then laughs, and Janis keeps kissing her, wanting to forget everything else.

 

She does for a while, fingers laced with Cady’s above her head, mouths moving in tandem. It’s not enough; she wants to be closer, deeper, to melt together. It’s like Janis is trying to make up for time she hasn’t even spent away from Cady yet.

 

Janis pushes her knee between Cady’s legs, and Cady groans so sweet in her ear, and it’s the only fucking sound Janis wants to hear for the rest of her life. She wants to get so lost in Cady Heron she can’t remember her own name.

 

But there’s too much urgency in the way she’s kissing Cady’s neck, hands fumbling when she tries to unbutton Cady’s jeans. She’s usually not so shaky, and can’t blame it on the cold when inside. Cady says her name, capturing her face between her palms.

 

“What?” Janis breathes, ghosting a kiss over Cady’s swollen lips. “I’m fine,” she pants in reply to a question that hasn’t been asked.

 

“Janis, stop,” Cady coaxes, holding her face more firmly so Janis knows she’s serious. Janis is confused, but quits trying to get Cady’s pants off. Her head is spinning; she might throw up.

 

“Fuck.” She rolls off Cady and flops onto her back, hand over her eyes. “Sorry.”

 

“It’s fine,” Cady whispers worriedly. “You’re fine. Are you okay?”

 

“No,” Janis admits, focusing on the black behind her eyes lest she vomit on Cady’s bedspread and taint this entire blessed room with that memory.

 

The nausea eventually subsides, fading as she catches her breath. The guilt soon replaces it, and that’s worse. When she opens her eyes and looks over at Cady, Cady has put her shirt on and is watching her with nothing but concern written all over her face.

 

Janis touches her chin. “Hi,” she manages to muster, embarrassment coloring her cheeks.

 

“Hi,” Cady echoes with a small smile. “What’s wrong?”

 

Janis sighs, exhaling from every pore in her skin. She drags her hands down her face and sits up, carefully so as not to trigger herself again, and Cady follows. Cady’s nails scratch that spot on Janis’s back she can never reach.

 

Janis fusses with the hem of her sock for a minute prior to saying, “My dad called.”

 

Cady’s hand pauses, then slowly starts stroking again. “When? About what?”

 

“Last week,” Janis mutters. “He, uh…wanted to ask if I’d come visit him for Christmas. And his whole family. They’re in Indiana. He moved back after the divorce.”

 

Cady’s always known something happened with Janis’s parents, but has never asked nor has Janis ever brought it up. It is a wound Janis didn’t think still stung, but hearing her dad’s voice, the mild pleading in his words, reopened it.

 

“He left a year after all that stuff with Regina happened,” Janis explains, not looking up. “I was thirteen. Everyone still hated me and treated me like a freak. And I get that… Y’know, him and my mom couldn’t be together anymore. They were having problems. But he didn’t have to…go back to Indiana right away. He could’ve stuck around here a bit longer, until he knew I would be okay without him. So it felt like my dad hated me, too, and couldn’t leave fast enough.”

 

“Oh, Janis, no,” Cady says tearfully. “No, he didn’t hate you. I’m sure that’s not it.”

 

“I know that now,” Janis reassures her, having difficulty swallowing due to the lump in her throat. God, she hates crying, especially in front of Cady. “But we don’t ever talk about it and I kinda still feel like the reason he divorced my mom was to get away from me.”

 

She takes a deep breath, trying to settle her stomach again. “So, that’s a super great feeling. I know for a fact he was hoping what Regina said about me wasn’t true. We hardly talk because I know how he feels about me actually being gay. And I can’t—there’s no way I can handle it in person. He’ll be super weird and his family are gonna treat me like shit. I mean, I _am_ used to it by now, but it’s different coming from your relatives.”

 

“I get it,” Cady says softly, sitting closer now, leaning against Janis’s arm.

 

Janis sighs and leans her cheek on Cady’s head. “They’re the conservative white Christians of everyone’s nightmares. That alone would make my head explode, but them being homophobic and proud is really the cherry on top.”

 

“You don’t owe them anything, baby,” Cady murmurs, and Janis shuts her eyes. “Okay? You’re totally allowed to call him back and say you aren’t coming. Tell him why, even. You have every right. Let them all be disappointed they can’t magically cure you with the power of Jesus.”

 

That entices a genuine laugh from Janis, and Cady kisses her shoulder. “I’m serious, babe, it’d be okay and justified to politely tell them to go fuck themselves.”

 

Janis shakes her head, amused by Cady’s brash words. “God. It’s like you’re asking my dad to get a plane ticket so he can come here and beat my ass. I can’t talk to him like that. He’s not a _bad_ dad, he’s just…stuck in his stupid ways.” She shrugs. “I think this is him just trying to keep his place in my life. He said he misses me.”

 

Cady hugs Janis’s arm, and the warmth of her skin on Janis’s makes it easy to breathe. Never in a million years did Janis think she’d ever be lucky to find someone who has that effect. She always pictured herself dating casually, being too afraid to commit to anything.

 

But then she met Cady, and luckily Cady made her rethink that plan.

 

“And you don’t have to forgive him,” Cady tells her. “Like, if he’s not okay with you being gay, it isn’t your responsibility to make him be a better father. He left at the worst possible time, too. It makes sense why you’re reluctant to go, and you don’t have to. You don’t owe him a goddamn thing. Look at me.” She holds Janis’s face again, eyes so sincere it makes Janis’s gut tremble. “Okay? You owe him and his family nothing.”

 

Janis knows she’s right. But she still feels obligated because it’s her dad and he was always a good dad when he was around. They had a happy relationship when she was a kid, but then _it_ happened and everything changed. She was not the same person after that, and neither were her parents. It got worse and worse with no closure or resolution, and six years later the literal worst part of it all still was him leaving. It didn’t help that when she was fifteen he asked if “that crap Regina said” about her was true, and she told him now it was.

 

She had hoped he’d be happy for her. That was three summers ago, when he came to visit for a bit. They haven’t seen each other since.

 

Janis has blocked out most of that conversation, not strong enough to bear the memory of his face, the blatant disappointment in his eyes when she told him she “really thought” she turned out to be gay after all. She knew vaguely he never liked the specifics of her trauma because of _what_ exactly Regina said she was. But she thought he’d change his mind if he truly loved her.

 

He proved that he didn’t, and their relationship crumbled. Janis stopped answering his calls in favor of beating up her pillow, pretending it was him instead.

 

Janis knows she has a lot of repressed anger, and her dad’s reaction to what happened to her and her coming out plays a big part in that.

 

Janis isn’t sure she’d be able to contain it if she saw him again. Years of punching her pillow to possibly his actual face. It would feel good, there’s no doubt. But, consequences.

 

Janis doesn’t remember when she started crying, but she’s sideways in Cady’s arms, wracked to the bone by sobs. Cady hugs her tighter with each one, just holding her, not trying to speak or get her to calm down. Simply there so she won’t be alone.

 

She’s told Damian all this before, and he’s done the same when she’s inevitably broken down. She always thinks she’s gotten over it, but then something triggers the memories and then she just can’t stop. This time is worse because of what her dad is asking of her. Putting her safety at risk to spend Christmas with a bunch of assholes.

 

She remembers very little of her dad’s side of the family, and that’s probably a good thing. She has no desire to remember, or start anew.

 

Janis really doesn’t want to go to Indiana. Now she knows for sure she isn’t going.

 

* * *

 

Janis spends the night at Cady’s, because it’s a Friday and she really didn’t want to be alone in her house while her mom works the late shift. Cady’s parents are always happy to have her over, especially now that she’s dating their daughter and they can evaluate just how good of a girlfriend she’s being to Cady. They’re never disappointed.

 

Her and Cady’s dynamic is very much the same as it was when they were just friends, except now they hold hands more and get caught kissing in random places. Janis really likes Cady’s parents; she enjoys being in a household where two teenage girls in love is normal for them. If her father can’t accept her, at least her future in-laws can, and that’s more important.

 

Indiana doesn’t come up at breakfast and afterwards Janis and Cady mess around in the front yard, smacking each other in the face with snow.

 

Janis almost forgets what she decided to do today, then is reminded by the snow itself, since it snows a lot in Indiana and she’ll probably have a harder time walking through it there. She sits down on the ground, panting, and Cady tosses a handful of snow at her. She blocks it with her hand and calls for a well-deserved truce.

 

Cady cozies up beside her. “You okay?” she asks, cheeks red as apples.

 

“I just remembered I have to call my dad today,” Janis replies sullenly.

 

“No, you don’t,” Cady protests kindly. “I mean, I know you said you would, but you don’t _have_ to. Could you ask your mom to talk to him? Have her tell him?”

 

“I’d have to tell _her_ first,” Janis says. “She doesn’t even know that he called. So if I tell her and then ask her to talk to him, they’ll be yelling at each other for two hours. I appreciate her being so protective, but she’ll just be pissed.”

 

“I love your mom,” Cady murmurs, and Janis hums in agreement. At least her mother is cool—coming out to her went significantly better. She told her first, and her mom said she “figured as much.” And then they got milkshakes, because that’s what every parent should do.

 

Janis sighs, and Cady rubs her arm. “Let’s go inside. Our butts are frozen.”

 

That makes Janis laugh, and they stumble back into the warm house together. Janis’s anxiety lessens a bit once they’re huddled on the couch with cocoa and blankets, but the weight of her situation stills hangs heavy over her head.

 

When the cocoa is gone and plate of cookies are eaten, Cady takes Janis’s hand in hers and traces patterns on the back with her fingertips. The faint tickle of her nails, absentmindedly on Janis’s skin, is a pleasant distraction. Janis snuggles closer to her.

 

In the evening, Cady’s mom comes down the stairs with Janis’s phone, which is ringing. “Hi, I was folding laundry and heard it,” she explains, handing it to her. “It’s your mom.”

 

“Oh, thanks,” Janis says, relieved. Cady stirs in her lap, having dozed off there an hour ago. It brings a smile to her mom’s face, and Janis grins, too.

 

She answers the phone as quietly as she can. Her mother wants to know how she is, and they talk for a bit, catching up. It’s been over a day since they saw each other, texting every once in a while to check in, but Janis is calmed by her mom’s voice. She almost brings up her dad, but thinks better of it since her mom sounds tired from work. Now isn’t the time.

 

“Alright, I’ll let you go,” her mom eventually says. “Tell the Herons thank you for me.”

 

“I will,” Janis promises, tracing the shell of Cady’s ear with her finger. “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too, honey. Have fun. Call me if you’re staying over again tonight.”

 

“Okay, Mama, I will. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.”

 

“Wuz tha’ your dad…?” Cady grumbles sleepily as Janis puts her phone on the side table. She cracks open an eye and rubs at her face like a cat.

 

“No, my mom,” Janis tells her affectionately.

 

“You’re not gonna call him.” It’s not a question, just a statement.

 

“Not today,” Janis whispers, as Cady rolls onto her back to look up at her. “Tomorrow, maybe. Think your parents would mind if I crashed here again? My mom is still working.”

 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Cady replies, already drifting off again.

 

Janis lets her fall back to sleep, fixing the blanket around her then turning the volume down on the TV. She looks out the window at the growing darkness, snowflakes flurrying aimlessly. She really can’t picture herself anywhere but here for the holidays, and doesn’t want to be. There is dull panic swirling inside her like the snow, telling her maybe she should indulge her father and his family, that she’d be a bad person for not doing it.

 

She tries to focus on what Cady told her—that he is not her responsibility and she doesn’t owe him anything. He made the choice to leave when she needed him. He can’t ask this of her.

 

She’ll tell him that tomorrow. At the very least, she wants to do that.

 

* * *

 

The next day is relatively the same, only now Janis is actually burdened with the fact she has to talk to her dad again and say _fuck you_ but in a nice way.

 

“What if he gets mad?” she says, chin on top of her hands, eyeing her phone like it’s a bomb or something, set to explode depending on how it goes.

 

“Just hang up,” Cady shrugs. “Literally, just hang up and block his number. He can’t get to you if you won’t let him. I don’t think he’ll get mad, but that could just be me hoping.”

 

“Ugh.” Janis leans back in her chair. “I hate this.”

 

Cady rubs her shoulder. “I know. But I’m here with you. Okay?”

 

Janis nods, and grabs her phone. “Okay.”

 

There’s no guarantee he’ll even answer right now, and Janis crosses her fingers. But then the ringing stops and she hears the line pick up.

 

“Hey, Jan,” her father greets her, sounding surprised she called.

 

“Hi, Dad,” Janis says, aware her voice is small and insecure. That’s how she felt at thirteen, so maybe everything is coming full circle.

 

“You doing okay, kid?” he asks after a moment of silence.

 

“Not really,” Janis admits in earnest. “Uh—I’m just calling to tell you I…I can’t go to Indiana. It’s not safe. And I really don’t wanna spend Christmas with people I barely know.”

 

“Well, I get that,” he says, trying to mask his hurt but failing. “What do you mean, not safe?”

 

“You know what I mean,” Janis says aggressively, and Cady touches her arm. “They don’t like me, Dad. If you told them about what happened, they know I’m gay and probably aren’t happy about it, just like you. I don’t expect them to be nice to me.”

 

There’s a long pause, then a heavy sigh. “Janis,” her father says, and now sounds wounded in a different way. “I haven’t told them anything.”

 

Janis bites her tongue, taken aback. “You haven’t? Don’t they know about Regina?”

 

“They do,” he says. “My parents do, and my sisters. I told them about it when it happened. But I’ve never told them that you wound up…coming out to me. I knew I couldn’t share that. They think we don’t talk because of the divorce.”

 

“That’s kinda true,” Janis mutters. “I’m still mad at you for leaving.”

 

“I know you are,” he responds, and his voice is thick. “I’m mad at myself, too. But, listen, they have no idea. If you came, they might have something to say about the makeup and the hair, but I swear, honey, they don’t know that you’re gay. I’m not just saying that.”

 

Janis isn’t sure if she believes it, but okay. “I still don’t wanna go.”

 

“I understand,” he says instantly. “I get it.”

 

“Do you?” she bites. “No, you don’t. You don’t get it. They’re more than likely homophobic and so are you, so what makes you think I’d wanna come? Even if they don’t know, you do. When I told you, you weren’t happy. You looked _disappointed,_ Dad. Disappointed in your fifteen-year-old daughter for having the courage to tell you that. It took a lot out of me to say it to your face, you know? And I could see how you felt about it. You didn’t like it. You were always afraid that what Regina said was true, and then it was.”

 

Cady bites her thumbnail, watching with wide, sad eyes, suffering by proxy.

 

“Yeah,” Janis’s dad ultimately says. “Yeah, you’re right, I wasn’t happy. But that’s my fault. I’ve grown up thinking certain things, but that doesn’t mean I’m right. I’ve learned a lot since you came out to me. We don’t talk much so I haven’t been able to apologize, or show you that I’m…still learning. But I miss you, and I don’t want to lose you because I’ve been a dick.”

 

Well, that came out of left field. Janis’s mouth hangs open for a solid ten seconds, brain trying to comprehend the concept of any father taking responsibility, let alone admitting he was being homophobic and then did something about it.

 

“I didn’t even care about you seeing your—my family,” he continues. “I just wanted a reason to tell you all this in person. Christmas is about family, and you’re still my family, kid. I understand if you don’t see me as yours anymore. And you don’t have to come to Indiana.”

 

Janis looks up at the ceiling, not knowing what to say. She was fully prepared to get in a fight, not be apologized to, or her feelings considered.

 

So much of her base instincts stem from wanting to protect herself from people like him or her extended family. She had to toughen up when her dad left because she had no one other than her mom being tough for her. She hardened even more when she came out and made her feel like there really was something wrong with her.

 

“It’s fine, really,” her dad insists when she doesn’t say anything. “You being gay, I don’t care. I mean, I care, but not because it bothers me. I care because it’s who my daughter is and I love her. I’ve never loved you any less because of it, I just let my criticism and ignorance get in the way of what was important, and that’s supporting you. Not despite you being gay, but because of it. I should’ve been there for you, and I wasn’t. And I’m sorry.”

 

As much as she doesn’t want that to mean anything to her, it does. It means everything. Janis didn’t realize how much she needed to hear it until now. She’s still angry, and probably will be for a very long time. But this matters a lot.

 

“Thanks,” she ultimately says, letting Cady swipe her tears away. “Um. Yeah. Thanks, Dad.”

 

“Don’t thank me. I just wanted you to know that. And I’ll spend as long as it takes making it up to you.” She can’t deny he sounds sincere, but tries not to let that sway her into forgiving him. There’s a difference between accepting an apology and offering absolution.

 

“Can I suggest a compromise?” he says next. “What if I came to you? Just for a couple days. I can stay in a motel. Not even for Christmas, just…sometime next week. I think there is lots we have to talk about, but only if you wanna do it in person.”

 

Janis chews her lip. “Yeah, that’s…better, I guess. That might work. Maybe not now, though.”

 

“Oh,” he says gently. “Okay. When might you want to?”

 

“Next month, maybe?” she asks, trying to meet him halfway. “When traveling isn’t so risky. And I think I just…need more than a week to mentally prepare. Does that make sense?”

 

“Yes, I understand,” he answers kindly. “That’s fine. Think about it. I’ll come when you want me to be there. Or not, if you change your mind.”

 

“Okay. I’ll let you know,” she promises, taking Cady’s hand unthinkingly.

 

It takes a minute to hang up, because both of them feel obligated to stay on the phone, unsure when they’re going to talk again. Janis winds up ending the call and just sits there for a bit in a kind of daze. Cady strokes her hand again, and there’s no sound.

 

“Can you be there?” Janis eventually says, and Cady lifts her head. “When I see him. I said he can come visit in a month or so.”

 

“If you want me to,” Cady replies softly. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

 

Janis nods, and motions for Cady to come closer. Cady happily settles on her lap, and Janis is content to just hold her for a while. It’s snowing again, so they watch it fall in silence.

 

Janis doesn’t necessarily feel at peace. But she feels something, lighter than before, maybe a little hopeful that this will turn out okay. She’ll keep her expectations low—she has to. But it will be easier to handle, whatever happens, now that she has Cady.

 

Nothing anybody says or thinks can take this away from them. Janis loves a girl, and that girl loves her back. Janis’s dad will meet Cady, he’ll see how happy she makes Janis, and he’ll be assured his efforts to accept Janis mean something.

 

Janis really didn’t want to go to Indiana. And now she doesn’t have to.

 

That’s the best gift her dad could’ve given her. Maybe next year they’ll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> to anyone whose dad is also a piece of work, i’m ur dad now. or ur mom. or just the supportive parent u don’t have
> 
> i love u all thank u for reading! kudos and comments are fetch ♡


End file.
